Dethroned Hog

by Churn Milk Joan

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about

Recorded in Hebden Bridge and Bolton between August 2012 and December 2014.

Thanks to Jim Ramsden for suggesting a song title (albeit in French), and thanks to The Velvet Underground & Nico for accidentally suggesting a song title.

"One of the most extraordinary outfits I ever heard! I'm a huge fan of this lot; I properly love this record. How did this record ever happen? How did you write this? Where did it come from?"" - Dave Milligan, "Round at Milligan's" radio show

"Incredible. Brilliant. A giggle a minute. It's totally yr commercial album (a la The Residents)." - Lee Alexandra Adcock

"It's awesome man - totally diggin' it !!!" - Josef Kalna

"Most creative band since Talking Heads, Brian Eno, Roxy Music, Fripp & Eno.... like spinning a Beastie Boys LP on the turntable from Hell!!... Wit, humor, creative genius." - Michael Inman

"a big mix of Beastie Boys meets Kraftwerk meets Can and even Talking Heads...." - Djalma Carvalho

"they sound like This Heat crossed with The Residents, with Bowie on vocals. Crazy weird fun." - Ian Beabout, House of Prog

"there are no other albums out quite like this!" - Steve Barber, AiiRadio

"I can't stop playing this - the best LP by anyone in ages." - Paul Grogan

"Beefheart-alike avant-garde Krautrock topped off with a dose of electronics... an intriguing, irreverent and funny as Hell album... a treasure trove of whimsical weirdness, a candy store filled with bite-sized tidbits. Churn Milk Joan have built an underground following; they are determined to have fun when they sit down and press "rec". Smile, enjoy or get the fuck out." - Hans Werksman, Here Comes The Flood

"Out there on a shelf of its own" - listener to Eclectic Eel Show on Radio Vera Ireland

"Best new stuff I've heard in ages" - Phil Honnor

credits

released January 10, 2015

Richard Knutson: voices and instruments
Colin Robinson: voices and instruments
with
Iain Taylor (choral voice, percussion and whirling tubes) on "Sylvia Plath on a Bike".

Music and Production: RK/CR
Mastering: RK
Editing and Engineering: CR
Artwork: RK
Photos: RK/CR
A Churn Milk Joan Production, © 2015

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about

Churn Milk Joan Hebden Bridge, UK

Music created by American Richard Knutson and Englishman Colin Robinson.

"One of the most extraordinary outfits I ever heard. Intriguing, irreverent and funny as Hell"

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Track Name: The Wheelbarrow of Zanzibar
The Buddha machine with the seventh seal
is peeling chrome from the steering wheel
A fitting retort to someone's New Deal

All over the shop
Number 1 crop
Start 2 3 4 7 8 Stop
Not a slave out of place
Don't let your guard drop
in Zanzibar

I can't stop the things going round in my bed
but then I fall asleep at the watershed
I'm tucked in, it shorts out the overhead
in Zanzibar

The monkey is asleep but he twists and turns
He twists my mind until it burns
He Looks all day but he never Learns
in Zanzibar

She doesn't have a name, they just call her Child
A peacock screaming as the telephone dialled
Walking on her hands as the gardener smiled
in Zanzibar
Track Name: Shadrach, Meshach, A Bendy Bus
Shadrach, Meshach, A Bendy Bus

glasses upside down
forks on the napkin
melted liquid clock
hanging in the dock
looks around your neck
at a windscreen Indian

fiery furnace!

a dairy dish of ice
a water socket wrench
a violin of Ben
with an architecture plan
dominate the track
bring stereo back
inquisition home
resting here on your bone

roly poly guacamole
I saw Esau fasting slowly
I saw Adam with an apple in his hand
and he made me the King of Switzerland

winter grass
falling leaves
you borrowed my tweezers
give them back to me!

bendy bus, yeah yeah yeah
Track Name: Avon Lady
"Hi!"

"Well yes I am."

"I am your Avon Lady. We've got the new soap-on-a-rope."

"Well that's so cool."

"We've got the cologne in the car, the cologne in the car..."

"Would you like to smoke some?"

yes I am, yes we do, yes we are
would you?
would you like to try?
we've got Mexican brown
Lebanese blond
sinsemilla and Thai weed
we've got everything
mushrooms fresh from the cows
we've got everything right now

sin-sin-sin-since-I-may-a

"I gotta go now!"
Track Name: I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
I'm a bit excited
Do you know why?
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
I cannot walk
Perhaps I can fly?
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye

I cannot laugh
I cannot cry
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
I wove a web
I caught a fly
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye

I cannot laugh
I cannot cry
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
I cannot walk
Perhaps I can fly?
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye

A bird has fallen from the sky,
Its beak as red as rust
I kept it in a shoebox
until it turned to dust.

I'm a bit excited
Do you know why?
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
I am an insect
I'm pastrami on rye
I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
Track Name: Ewe Lifts Mutton
you have a malarial mouth
coming up the stairs in the dark

school girls testing your skills
like a snow nurse in the dark

knee them in the groin
and gouge them in the eye

silly slap them about the face
do anything you want to in this case

you are a spurious ball of gas
you are an Audi in the trash
Track Name: Sylvia Plath on a Bike
Blissful in the whirling wheels
Swimming far out to sea
Hide your homilies under the house
It really doesn't matter to me

Sylvia Plath on a bike
I saw Sylvia Plath on a bike

Tangled in the whirling wheels
Too far out at sea
A sundial in the rain
It never really mattered to me

Sylvia Plath on a bike
I saw Sylvia Plath on a bike
Track Name: The Limb of Creation
pull creation through your limbs
push creation through your feet
put the doorway to the strings
and you flying without wings
in the light you are dark you are
light you are dark you are

across the landscapes you are here
across the bleeding atmosphere
across prolapsed magnetic fields
it's your kindness that we feel
in the light you are dark you are
light you are dark you are

infinitesimally small
like the universe beyond
you will please sir let us pass
or fall in love with your own ass
in the light you are dark you are
in the light you are dark you are
Track Name: No bacon in the dreamtime house
we didn't sell it to you
we didn't give it away
we didn't sell it to you
we didn't know what to do

sell it to you?
give it away?
know what to do
or where to go
on vacation

sell out
well so long
we didn't go down well
it was such a powerful buzz
you know

we didn't sell her any bacon in the dreamtime house
we didn't go on no vacation cuz it was fucking nuts
it was just so fucking nuts

bye bye little pudding brain
bye bye little destiny
bye bye little Russian train
at minimal range we made the exchange
so go just just fucking go
just fucking go!
Track Name: Jesus in Tight Pants
yo ho ho

you're one in a million
tight ass you can see
everything I believed since 1973
ono ono ono
it's a bear!
ono ono ono
it's a plane!
it's jesus in tight pants!
hep me hep me
you got to hep me
hep me do it

she's a princess in the navy
and she's waiting for you patiently

yo ho ho
Track Name: God made the drugs
glandular goblin in an eggman suit
an eggman a worried connoisseur
with a package of fruit

no one took him seriously
though they sometimes ate
with their shirt sleeves open
to commiserate

drugs made the day
a little bit brighter for you

bring enough for everyone
leave them by the door
we will compensate you
making bullets for the war

all the eggs in the box are singing
sad songs...
Track Name: Raven's longboat
his longboat is bent
he ate the condiment
tomorrow morning is lent

some people suck
they suck at it
some people eat
they eat all of it

electrical death from underground
shimmering champaign all around
why do you stand there looking down?

nothing to see
you can do that tomorrow
after you clean the fence!
and you can fly like a raven
like a raven flies
you can cry like a raven
like a raven cries

weep weep weep...
how do you weep like that?
have a weepy do
how you weep?
it's up to you
Track Name: We travel Inter-City like the men do
We travel Inter-City like the men do
Track Name: Leaving Dunkirk
I'm leaving Dunkirk in a squall of rain
I'm leaving Dunkirk, I'm leaving Dunkirk again
Track Name: Marooned on Rigor Mortis
Marooned on rigor mortis

cuts

having a reaction to the anaesthetic

it isn't what he thought it was

they don't have to break your arms

filter generator

3 day darling

totally off yer tits

they don't have to break your arms

if rigor mortis sets in
Track Name: A chat window with myself
Somehow I've opened a chat window
I've opened a chat window with myself!
It presents a problem
What do you say?
And how to explain it
to your friends?

"Hi, how are you?"

"Well I'm fine but you should know all that."

Now we have a little problem you and I
Yes we do
This is the situation
highly unusual and somewhat suspect
What do you say to your favourite person in the whole wide world?

Somehow I forgot to feed the cat
or do anything like that
because I'm so preoccupied
with this chat window!
I've been waiting all day for a reply
Track Name: 96 friends live in the sky with Jesus
You are so busted tonight
lutefisk sandwiches and turnip greens
nearer my onions gum disease
run it down run it down black out
the dogs in the street have all the balloons!
Can you save enough time to do your nitrous oxide tonight?

all the Lutheran experience ran off
never saw it coming on Hennepin Avenue
during the ice parade
aquatennial fetishes
we were so simple then
we were all wanted then
we were arrested with save enough time
save enough time to do your nitrous oxide tonight

"hi my name is Benny"

96 times, 96 oils, 96 wells, 96 brains

I have some friends who live in the sky with Jesus...
Track Name: Razor Blade / Hit Parade
if it is or if it isn't
it doesn't make any difference
it's over
it's under
nothing changes
it doesn't matter
now you've come to them

grenade Pixie fellatio rhubarb
crayola migraine dogs on the train
hypnotist victory invasion specialist
like a naughty tat
jolly roger that
reality bite marks up and down your arm
with a razor blade
reading Hit Parader
anything lurid to sell more magazines
anything cultish to warp your little mind

I'd come over if you had some weed
I'd come over if you had some weed
I'd come over right quick like
I'd come over
I'd come over!