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Dethroned Hog

by Churn Milk Joan

supported by
Jeff Birr
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Jeff Birr I think this is my, "Mr. Pocket" I've been diggin for. They are my new obsession!!
Lee Adcock
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Lee Adcock By far the best release I've ever heard from Colin and crew. Snappy. Catchy. Crunchy. Wonky. Think the Residents' Commercial album, but with an ear for Eno and heavy dollops of funk. Deeeeelish. Favorite track: No bacon in the dreamtime house.
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1.
The Buddha machine with the seventh seal is peeling chrome from the steering wheel A fitting retort to someone's New Deal All over the shop Number 1 crop Start 2 3 4 7 8 Stop Not a slave out of place Don't let your guard drop in Zanzibar I can't stop the things going round in my bed but then I fall asleep at the watershed I'm tucked in, it shorts out the overhead in Zanzibar The monkey is asleep but he twists and turns He twists my mind until it burns He Looks all day but he never Learns in Zanzibar She doesn't have a name, they just call her Child A peacock screaming as the telephone dialled Walking on her hands as the gardener smiled in Zanzibar
2.
Shadrach, Meshach, A Bendy Bus glasses upside down forks on the napkin melted liquid clock hanging in the dock looks around your neck at a windscreen Indian fiery furnace! a dairy dish of ice a water socket wrench a violin of Ben with an architecture plan dominate the track bring stereo back inquisition home resting here on your bone roly poly guacamole I saw Esau fasting slowly I saw Adam with an apple in his hand and he made me the King of Switzerland winter grass falling leaves you borrowed my tweezers give them back to me! bendy bus, yeah yeah yeah
3.
Avon Lady 02:13
"Hi!" "Well yes I am." "I am your Avon Lady. We've got the new soap-on-a-rope." "Well that's so cool." "We've got the cologne in the car, the cologne in the car..." "Would you like to smoke some?" yes I am, yes we do, yes we are would you? would you like to try? we've got Mexican brown Lebanese blond sinsemilla and Thai weed we've got everything mushrooms fresh from the cows we've got everything right now sin-sin-sin-since-I-may-a "I gotta go now!"
4.
I'm a bit excited Do you know why? I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I cannot walk Perhaps I can fly? I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I cannot laugh I cannot cry I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I wove a web I caught a fly I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I cannot laugh I cannot cry I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I cannot walk Perhaps I can fly? I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye A bird has fallen from the sky, Its beak as red as rust I kept it in a shoebox until it turned to dust. I'm a bit excited Do you know why? I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye I am an insect I'm pastrami on rye I've just injected an unknown substance into my eye
5.
you have a malarial mouth coming up the stairs in the dark school girls testing your skills like a snow nurse in the dark knee them in the groin and gouge them in the eye silly slap them about the face do anything you want to in this case you are a spurious ball of gas you are an Audi in the trash
6.
Blissful in the whirling wheels Swimming far out to sea Hide your homilies under the house It really doesn't matter to me Sylvia Plath on a bike I saw Sylvia Plath on a bike Tangled in the whirling wheels Too far out at sea A sundial in the rain It never really mattered to me Sylvia Plath on a bike I saw Sylvia Plath on a bike
7.
pull creation through your limbs push creation through your feet put the doorway to the strings and you flying without wings in the light you are dark you are light you are dark you are across the landscapes you are here across the bleeding atmosphere across prolapsed magnetic fields it's your kindness that we feel in the light you are dark you are light you are dark you are infinitesimally small like the universe beyond you will please sir let us pass or fall in love with your own ass in the light you are dark you are in the light you are dark you are
8.
we didn't sell it to you we didn't give it away we didn't sell it to you we didn't know what to do sell it to you? give it away? know what to do or where to go on vacation sell out well so long we didn't go down well it was such a powerful buzz you know we didn't sell her any bacon in the dreamtime house we didn't go on no vacation cuz it was fucking nuts it was just so fucking nuts bye bye little pudding brain bye bye little destiny bye bye little Russian train at minimal range we made the exchange so go just just fucking go just fucking go!
9.
yo ho ho you're one in a million tight ass you can see everything I believed since 1973 ono ono ono it's a bear! ono ono ono it's a plane! it's jesus in tight pants! hep me hep me you got to hep me hep me do it she's a princess in the navy and she's waiting for you patiently yo ho ho
10.
glandular goblin in an eggman suit an eggman a worried connoisseur with a package of fruit no one took him seriously though they sometimes ate with their shirt sleeves open to commiserate drugs made the day a little bit brighter for you bring enough for everyone leave them by the door we will compensate you making bullets for the war all the eggs in the box are singing sad songs...
11.
his longboat is bent he ate the condiment tomorrow morning is lent some people suck they suck at it some people eat they eat all of it electrical death from underground shimmering champaign all around why do you stand there looking down? nothing to see you can do that tomorrow after you clean the fence! and you can fly like a raven like a raven flies you can cry like a raven like a raven cries weep weep weep... how do you weep like that? have a weepy do how you weep? it's up to you
12.
We travel Inter-City like the men do
13.
I'm leaving Dunkirk in a squall of rain I'm leaving Dunkirk, I'm leaving Dunkirk again
14.
Marooned on rigor mortis cuts having a reaction to the anaesthetic it isn't what he thought it was they don't have to break your arms filter generator 3 day darling totally off yer tits they don't have to break your arms if rigor mortis sets in
15.
Somehow I've opened a chat window I've opened a chat window with myself! It presents a problem What do you say? And how to explain it to your friends? "Hi, how are you?" "Well I'm fine but you should know all that." Now we have a little problem you and I Yes we do This is the situation highly unusual and somewhat suspect What do you say to your favourite person in the whole wide world? Somehow I forgot to feed the cat or do anything like that because I'm so preoccupied with this chat window! I've been waiting all day for a reply
16.
You are so busted tonight lutefisk sandwiches and turnip greens nearer my onions gum disease run it down run it down black out the dogs in the street have all the balloons! Can you save enough time to do your nitrous oxide tonight? all the Lutheran experience ran off never saw it coming on Hennepin Avenue during the ice parade aquatennial fetishes we were so simple then we were all wanted then we were arrested with save enough time save enough time to do your nitrous oxide tonight "hi my name is Benny" 96 times, 96 oils, 96 wells, 96 brains I have some friends who live in the sky with Jesus...
17.
if it is or if it isn't it doesn't make any difference it's over it's under nothing changes it doesn't matter now you've come to them grenade Pixie fellatio rhubarb crayola migraine dogs on the train hypnotist victory invasion specialist like a naughty tat jolly roger that reality bite marks up and down your arm with a razor blade reading Hit Parader anything lurid to sell more magazines anything cultish to warp your little mind I'd come over if you had some weed I'd come over if you had some weed I'd come over right quick like I'd come over I'd come over!

about

Recorded in Hebden Bridge and Bolton between August 2012 and December 2014.

Thanks to Jim Ramsden for suggesting a song title (albeit in French), and thanks to The Velvet Underground & Nico for accidentally suggesting a song title.

"One of the most extraordinary outfits I ever heard! I'm a huge fan of this lot; I properly love this record. How did this record ever happen? How did you write this? Where did it come from?"" - Dave Milligan, "Round at Milligan's" radio show

"Incredible. Brilliant. A giggle a minute. It's totally yr commercial album (a la The Residents)." - Lee Alexandra Adcock

"It's awesome man - totally diggin' it !!!" - Josef Kalna

"Most creative band since Talking Heads, Brian Eno, Roxy Music, Fripp & Eno.... like spinning a Beastie Boys LP on the turntable from Hell!!... Wit, humor, creative genius." - Michael Inman

"a big mix of Beastie Boys meets Kraftwerk meets Can and even Talking Heads...." - Djalma Carvalho

"they sound like This Heat crossed with The Residents, with Bowie on vocals. Crazy weird fun." - Ian Beabout, House of Prog

"there are no other albums out quite like this!" - Steve Barber, AiiRadio

"I can't stop playing this - the best LP by anyone in ages." - Paul Grogan

"Beefheart-alike avant-garde Krautrock topped off with a dose of electronics... an intriguing, irreverent and funny as Hell album... a treasure trove of whimsical weirdness, a candy store filled with bite-sized tidbits. Churn Milk Joan have built an underground following; they are determined to have fun when they sit down and press "rec". Smile, enjoy or get the fuck out." - Hans Werksman, Here Comes The Flood

"Out there on a shelf of its own" - listener to Eclectic Eel Show on Radio Vera Ireland

"Best new stuff I've heard in ages" - Phil Honnor

credits

released January 10, 2015

Richard Knutson: voices and instruments
Colin Robinson: voices and instruments
with
Iain Taylor (choral voice, percussion and whirling tubes) on "Sylvia Plath on a Bike".

Music and Production: RK/CR
Mastering: RK
Editing and Engineering: CR
Artwork: RK
Photos: RK/CR
A Churn Milk Joan Production, © 2015

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Churn Milk Joan Hebden Bridge, UK

Music created by American Richard Knutson and Englishman Colin Robinson.

"One of the most extraordinary outfits I ever heard. Intriguing, irreverent and funny as Hell"

Sadly, Richard died from Motor Neuron Disease in March 2020.
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